(Columbus, OH) Embattled Ohio governor Bob Taft held a tearful press conference several hours ago, and confessed to additional breaches of integrity.
"About six years ago, I placed these ball-point pens in my briefcase after a seminar," said the remorseful governor. "I never declared this on my annual disclosure statements."
Taft continued to delineate his ethical lapses.
"Also, about seven years ago I stayed at a Motel 6 near Ashtabula, and I took all the little soaps and mini-shampoos," he said, adding that he has also snagged the occasional Giddeon's Bible. "I have let down the voters in my state."
The governor said that he would accept the decisions of the various courts.
"Oh - I almost forgot," he said. "I always fill my pockets with those red-and-white mints whenever I eat out. I love those goddamn little mints!"
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude.
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