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9/12/2005

Blade To Unveil Exposé On Christ


Left: Jesus Christ, subject of an upcoming Blade investigation

(Toledo, OH) The Pulitzer-winning Toledo Blade announced today an investigative series on Jesus Christ, the self-proclaimed Son of God.

Publisher John Robinson Block said that the series makes sense in many ways.

"Look, you know every Christian is going to pick up the paper every day this runs," he said while pinning live moths to a corkboard. "Besides, I am the Annointed One, so who the hell is this clown trying to take over my place?"

The issue of campaign contributions is an important piece of the investigation, said Block.

"OK, so he's like King or Ruler or something," he said. "Those first loaves and fishes - did he declare that shit on federal disclosure forms? I think not."

Block said that Christ also has some hidden tax problems.

"Yeah, he went all apeshit on those tax collectors," he said, grabbing an escaping moth. "You can't mess with the IRS and not get some serious payback. We have sources who say that they are gonna hit him with some major levies."

The exposé, according to Block, will also raise questions about Christ's non-traditional lifestyle.

"What's a guy like that hanging around with 12 other dudes for?" he asked. "Plus, the whole "suffer the children" thing - what is he, some kind of pedophile? Look, I'm just asking the questions. It's not like I am out to get him or anything."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:46 AM
Comments:
So close to the truth that it almost seemed real.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:57 AM
 
Go man go!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:51 PM
 
I'm suprised God and Satan didn't jump in on this one.

:-)
# posted by Blogger Unknown : 8:23 PM
 
God was busy. Satan is not returning my calls at the moment.

Opal Covey told me that JRB is the AntiChrist, for what it is worth.
# posted by Blogger Subcomandante Bob : 3:52 PM
 
Fuck the Blade.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 11:25 PM
 
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