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Opal Covey Still Waiting For Divine Vengeance

(Toledo, OH) Former Toledo mayoral candidate Opal Covey, whose prediction that "the city will be destoyed" by an angry God if she was not elected, held out hope yesterday that the Almighty will still deliver on His promise.

"I don't understand it; He was very clear in His prophecy to me," said Covey. "I have faith that he will send a world of hurt upon Toledo, especially on that mean park ranger at Wildwood who stopped me from passing out leaflets."

Covey said that God has not provided her with any prophecies in the last month.

"The prophecy well is pretty dry right now," she admitted. "I thought I was getting one Thursday, but it turned out to be a migraine."

The post-campaign life has been "kinda boring," said Covey.

"Been doing some preaching the past few weeks," she said. "I tried to do some healing on some homeless men at the Cherry Street Mission, but they were neither grateful nor polite."

A spokesman for the mission declined a formal interview with Toledo Tales, but said he hoped that the "wack-ass lunatic gets some help."

Opal - quit fucking calling me already.

I'll send you another piece of divine inspiration when I get around to it.

Look - Toledo is just not that important. I've got bombers in Bali, baseball in Boston, and babes in Belarus to deal with, OK?
Wow, if God is only on the "B"'s it's going to be awhile.

Nah, he's almost th the "C"s. Ms. Covey will be getting hers, special delivery real soon.

That swooshing sound coming from the Heavens above is God winding up, getting ready to smite someone "special" with the jawbone of an ass to the jawbone of an ***... (if you get my drift;-)

Look out Opal.

Opal!; isn't what those crazy Greeks at the Festival shout when they see that flaming cheese thingie?
Yeah, I'm sure it's Opal or Opa, either one is close enough

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