Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Subcomandante Bob, editor of such e-zines as the National Nitwit, Toledo Tales, and the Codependent Collegian, announced today that he admitted himself to an undisclosed mental facility.

"I have reached the point of exhaustion with these stupid Nazis," he said, referring to the group National Socialist Movement (NSM), who recently ignited a riot in Toledo's North End. "I have covered these idiots from every possible angle, and this has drained me to the point where I can no longer tie my shoes."

The enigmatic writer and editor, whose work has been featured, well, in not very many places, said that he will continue to keep the satire sites functioning during his in-patient stay.

"Yeah, it may be a little difficult typing with these restraints on, but I will never let down my audience," he said. "Also, Thorazine tends to blur your thinking, so you'll have to excuse me if I.................................nod off."

Bob, whose last name is an irreproducible sound, said that he is looking forward to the stay.

"It will be great having people wipe drool and half-eaten food from my face," he said. "Usually I have to let that stuff harden and then peel it off."