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10/29/2005

Subcomandante Bob Kidnapped By Neo-Nazi Group

Left: possible suspects in the kidnapping of Subcomandante Bob

(Toledo, OH) Subcomandante Bob, editor of the e-zines Codependent Collegian, Toledo Tales, and National Nitwit, was captured by members of the neo-Nazi group National Socialist Movement (NSM) today.

Terms of the kidnapping were not available at the time of this post, but Subcomandante Bob said in a telephone interview that "somebody better get these fascist bastards what they want before I get medieval on them."

A spokesperson for the group said that the action was taken by NSM in rseponse to a series of "vicious lies" in the guise of satire.

"This dirty Jew bastard is gonna pay," said the unnamed NSM rep.

A collection taken by Billy Pilgrim, rogue editor of the e-zines, netted $3.84 toward the ransom.

"Hey, it's all we had left after beer and Doritos," said Pilgrim. "And let's face it - Bob ain't exactly Patty Hearst, if you know what I mean."

Comments:
poor Bob - I have $1.00 left over from Taco Bell
 
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I'll kick in a few bucks to save Bob.

:-)
 
I've got some spare change (~37 lbs.).
 
Front Row, Second from the left...the HUGE Blond...is that Chris Farley?
 
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Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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