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12/12/2005

Finkbeiner To Run All City Departments


(Toledo, OH) In an acknowledgement of his micromanagerial style, mayor-elect Carty Finkbeiner announced today that he will simultaneously act as director of all city departments.

"You know, I' just going to fire 'em all anyways within three months," he said of prospective department heads. "I may as well just run it all my self."

Finkbeiner, who was criticized in his first two terms for his lightning-quick temper, said that the move will prevent further lawsuits.

"If I have no department heads, there will be no one to chuck coffe cups at," he said. "I'll scream at myself when things get screwed up, and then I will fix the problem."

City Council passed a resolution approving the measure unanimously.

"Hey, do you want to be the one to tell the guy he can't have what he wants?" asked councilperson Betty Schultz. "Not me. I want to live to see retirement."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 10:21 AM
Comments:
He will still chuck coffee cups - you watch.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:06 PM
 
Carty is insane - jusyt watch.

Also, this story is so close to the truth as to no longer be satire.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:50 PM
 
Carty is a tyrant. Even if he has department heads, he appoints people who do exactly what he tells them to.

Or they get fired.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:41 PM
 
Come on now, folks. Carty's a loveable and...misunderstood man.

He's not even in office and y'all are ripping on him.
# posted by Blogger Subcomandante Bob : 5:00 PM
 
"Finkbeiner, who was criticized in his first two terms for his lightning-quick temper..."

You'bve got it all wrong Bob,that was the Old Carty, the Bad Carty, the EVIL CARTY...

This time he's the Passionate Carty.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah...
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 8:43 PM
 
I heard Carty wants to put Bob McClosky in charge of enforcing ethics. J'Fo will be in charge of the gang task force/gang relations. Karyn McConnell-Hancock will be in charge of enforcing traffic violations for all Toledo city elected officials. Frank Szollosi, well...he's a waste of space. Enough about him. Louis Escobar will in charge of corporate relations (he'll keep those terrorists in line). And above all, Carty will declare is Master JOHN ROBINSON BLOCK Emperor of Toledo.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:07 PM
 
How dare you defile me, King Carty the Great. I've got a cofee mug with your name on it (if you know what I mean).
Wait till January, if you think I screwed you years ago, prepare for more.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:27 AM
 
http://www.cafepress.com/deaf_love_carty
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:55 PM
 
The more I read about Carty and the more I read and hear about G.W. Bush, I think they may have been fathered by the same man, H.W. Bush. Think about it, their style in office is almost identical, and they are both legends in their own minds.

From ns_railroader_retired
(I skipped over here from toledotalks.com and I was too lazy to sign up for another identity here).
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 4:31 PM
 
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