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12/17/2005

Suspicious Fire Damages Christian School


(Toledo, OH) A suspicious two-alarm fire caused about extensive damage yesterday at Emmanuel Baptist Christian School in West Toledo, forcing the cancellation of classes.

A fire department spokesperson said that there were "multiple possibilities" of the fire's origin.

"There was a burning bush out front that may have triggered the blaze," said the spokesperson. "Also, we are looking into rumors of 'tongues of fire' that may have gotten out of control."

Church officials denied the suggestion that the blaze was caused by an angry God.

"Oh no, none of that fire-and-brimstone action here," said Pastor Philip De Courcy. "When God is pissed, he totally destroys whatever is in the way; He would have definitely smited the church and the football field if He was mad at us, because He told us in Luke that 'the chaff He will burn with fire unquenchable.' This one definitely got quenched."

Comments:
Just wanted to reiterate that I had nothing to do with this fire.

I sweaar to...myself...that sounds funny, doesn't it?

Anyways, I was with this chick named Jeannie Thursday night, and let's just say we were making our own fire.

Sincerely,

The Lord Thy God
 
Maybe it was just a warning (and warming) shot ;-)

A little tap on the shoulder, to get everyone's attention...
 
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