.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Suspicious Fire Damages Christian School

(Toledo, OH) A suspicious two-alarm fire caused about extensive damage yesterday at Emmanuel Baptist Christian School in West Toledo, forcing the cancellation of classes.

A fire department spokesperson said that there were "multiple possibilities" of the fire's origin.

"There was a burning bush out front that may have triggered the blaze," said the spokesperson. "Also, we are looking into rumors of 'tongues of fire' that may have gotten out of control."

Church officials denied the suggestion that the blaze was caused by an angry God.

"Oh no, none of that fire-and-brimstone action here," said Pastor Philip De Courcy. "When God is pissed, he totally destroys whatever is in the way; He would have definitely smited the church and the football field if He was mad at us, because He told us in Luke that 'the chaff He will burn with fire unquenchable.' This one definitely got quenched."

Just wanted to reiterate that I had nothing to do with this fire.

I sweaar to...myself...that sounds funny, doesn't it?

Anyways, I was with this chick named Jeannie Thursday night, and let's just say we were making our own fire.


The Lord Thy God
Maybe it was just a warning (and warming) shot ;-)

A little tap on the shoulder, to get everyone's attention...
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?