.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Area Thugs Welcome New Finkbeiner Initiative

(Toledo, OH) Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner promised to kick off his "Get Fit Toledo" program soon, including a proposed path from the suburbs to downtown.

The program would incorporate weekly neighborhood walks to promote fitness and also to encourage communication between residents and community leaders. Area criminals applauded the move.

"Anything that gets more people on the streets is good for the robbery business," said "Krumpin' G," an economist for a local Bloods faction. "Our revenue stream tanked with the first snowfall, and projections remain weak through the first quarter until things warm up."

Finkbeiner said he plans a walking/biking path extending from the Anthony Wayne Trail at South Detroit Avenue to downtown.

"That would provide us with our ideal demographics," said Krumpin' G. "We could count on an increased number of suburban targets with higher incomes. Jacking the same central city victims over and over gets counterproductive, and the law of diminishing returns comes into play."

The mayor said that his "Walk the Neighborhood Program" would include religious leaders, community leaders, youth leaders, councilmen, and even the mayor himself.

"Sounds like a great way to boost the local underground economy," said Krumpin' G. "With all of those high rollers marching down the Trail, this may represent a real paradigm shift in the dynamics of local thug: victim ratios. Oh yeah, and when da hoo rider marks start they high-sidin' we be right there to stay their outta bounds asses for all they gots."

Really Officer, I didn't see Mayor Carty walking down the trail just before I sped up and lost control of the car.
I would respond, but I don't use a computer.

In fact, I don't even know how this got here.
Sheet, I can'ts waits for da trail ta be built. Me and my brothers in da Dexta Boyz gone gotta rob and beat up the honkys. Sheet, this'll be mo' fun dan the October riot. I just hope dat dat dumb cracka Bill White be comin down there. Weez gots a present fo him.
"Finkbeiner said he plans a walking/biking path extending from the Anthony Wayne Trail at South Detroit Avenue to downtown."


Herr Carty can jog to work...
Are you sure Bill White isn't behind this?
Shut the f**k up, loser
Typical of Carty, use tax dollars to build something for HIMSELF. Case in point, the fountain that looks like a giant phanlax symbol near his house. How much did he pay for it...well, the taxpayers paid over $120,000 for his plaything. Carty's nothing but a self-serving jerk, and that's just, not right.
"Case in point, the fountain that looks like a giant phanlax symbol near his house."


Are you sure you didn't mean phallus symbol?

I mean, with the water dribbling out of that tower thing... ;-)
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?