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Dining Condiment Offerings Questioned At UT

(Toledo, OH) UT students gathered outside the Student Union last week to protest the condiment policies of AVI Dining Services.

“Look here,” said junior Martin Meriwether. “There are 42 tables in this cafeteria, but only 37 salt shakers and 11 pepper shakers. How the hell you going to eat scrambled eggs without salt and pepper?”

Meriwether also noted that the black pepper was in shorter supply on campus than the white salt.

"What does this mean?" he asked. "I leave it to you to figure it out, but it sure is suspicious to me."

Another student, Jessica Johnson, complained about the lack of condiment alternatives.

“There’s like, no ranch dressing for the French fries,” she said. “I mean, come on, everyone dips their fries in ranch. Duh!”

AVI spokesperson Karen Underwood downplayed the allegations.

“You know the little bastards just steal it for their dorms,” she said. “If you want more condiments, they should bring back all the shit they stole from the cafeteria."

Boo fricking Hoo...
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