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1/30/2006

Expose: WSPD's Wilson Often Not Even On Air

Left: Digital assistant often fills in for bass-fishing afficianado Brian Wilson

(Toledo, OH) A three-week investigation by Toledo Tales provides the backdrop to the latest in the saga of a declining radio station. Confirming the suspicions of the 12 remaining WSPD listeners, afternoon host Brian Wilson often steps out for two or more hours during his broadcast to fish in the Maumee.

"Well, you caught me," said a sheepish Wilson, placing a few fish in his bucket. "I figured nobody would notice."

Filling in for Wilson during his afternnon river jaunts has been the 360 Systems Shortcut Editor 2000, a digital recorder that uses hard disk technology to offer a comprehensive, portable editing workstation.

"We figured out pretty quick that, given the fact that most of the WSPD listeners began to doze within 60 seconds of me going on air, we could just pipe in the rest," said Wilson, scaling a river carp. "We have programmed it to say a few key words over and over, like "bass fishing," "Libertarian," and "flat tax" to keep the listeners in a stupor."

Toledo Tales videotaped Wilson for 90 minutes last Thursday casting a half-dozen lines into the Maumee. Wilson did not seem to feel the public is being deceived.

"If your wife was in a coma, would it be OK for you to step out of her room and have a cheeseburger? I think so," he said, putting stashing his gear in the trunk of his Oldsmobile. "I think the analogy applies. Besides, it's not like we have to worry much about giving the advertisers their money's worth, since they are all running from the station faster than R Kelley at a Girl Scout camp."

Comments:
We would never have known!
 
actually, I noticed it right away. i flipped it on for a traffic report yesterday and caught the last few seconds before the traffic, and it was actualy entertaining for a second! That's when I knew it must have been a machine, because Wilson never says anything entertaining
 
Wilson???

Is he STILL working for WSPD?

To know for sure, I would have to listen, and that ain't gonna happen.

And, I seriously doubt the 12 listeners...
 
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