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1/16/2006

TARTA To Offer Pay-Per-View "Bus Stop Stomp" Programming


(Toledo, OH) The Toledo Area Metropolitan Transportation Authority (TARTA) announced yesterday that it will begin to offer special pay-per-view showings of fights as they break out at selected stops.

The events will be entitled "Bus Stop Stomp," after the recent mêlée on Jackson Street.

"We believe that we will be able to cash in on an emerging entertainment trend, while paying for new video monitors at the bus stops," said board president James Bohn. "Plus, given the popularity of pay-per-view wrestling and boxing events, we knew we had a sure-fire winner."

TARTA serves nine communities and carries almost 5 million passengers each year. Bohn believes that the system has a captive audience.

"I mean really - what the hell else are they going to do on the bus?" he asked. "Once a fight breaks out, I am sure we can get half the bus to pony up the $2 we are charging for viewing the Stomp."

Bohn believes that his agency is prepared for lulls in between fights.

"Oh yeah - we thought about that," he said. "We are paying unsuspecting interns to wear blue or red sweatsuits in select areas to stir up trouble. I have no doubt that we will be able to spark enough beatdowns to give people a good mix of fisticuffs, ass-whoopings, and head-kickings."

Comments:
How about bum fights, too?
 
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Hiya Bob, thanks for stopping by at the party last night. Sorry about running out of coke but if you want that particular party favor you really must remember to arrive before Hal.

Oh and for future reference when I say you should pork the "old dog" I'm talking about my ex wife not the neighbors Maltese Shzitzu.

I'll try and serve more pork at the next get together for you Jooish guys.

P.S. What is it with Isis? She's threatening to kill me, in a very painful manner. I'm asking for 24/7 protection from NSM. I hope they get here fast. But in answer to your question, no I don't think I can set you up with her.

P.S. P.S. Yes I did find your wallet at the party. No there were no money or major credit cards left. BTW did you know your Visa was maxed out?
 
Bus driver mud wrestling???
 
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