Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Speaking for his feline compatriots, a local mouser said that the time has come to bring an end to off-color jokes directed at cats.

"Nobody even thinks it's funny any more to walk up and say: 'Hey, check out the pussy,'" said "Bootsie," an area feline. "Yeah, that's really original, pal. Did you stay up all night thinking of that one?"

Bootsie, who added that he is also ticked about the name he has been given, said that many cats are going on the offensive.

"Yeah, just last week this cat from Maumee attacked a 14-year old boy who though he was a jokester," he said. "Here's a clue: some of us are ready to rip your throat out if you tell that stupid joke again."

The demographics of the pranksters span all known categories, said Bootsie.

"The worst ones are the little old ladies who will call out 'Here, pussy-pussy-pussy' like they have never heard the derogatory slang term," he said, baring his fangs. "Next time I run into one of those types I am going to 'forget' I know about litter boxes. Idiots."