Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Councilman Bob McCloskey, the second place vote-getter in the November election, laughed over what he called "the incredible stupidity" of Toledo voters.

"How many other indicted extortionists could get that many votes," he asked. "Answer: none. I am the alpha and the omega of Toledo politics."

McCloskey, who has also come under fire for a campaign maneuver that evades term-limit laws by switching from a district seat to an at-large seat, scoffed at suggestions that voters will catch on to his antics.

"You have stupid people, you have sheep, and below those groups you have Toledo voters," he chuckled. "They are trained like chimps to pull the same lever each time, and by God, I am living proof."

A Lucas County grand jury indicted McCloskey on two felony bribery charges for purpotedly demanding $100,000 for a prescription-drug fund for fellow Pilkington retirees in exchange for his support on a zoning issue. At least one of these demands was left on a voicemail.

If convicted, the councilperson faces a sentence of one to five years and up to a $10,000 fine on each count. In addition, a person convicted of bribery is barred from holding public office under Ohio law. This information did not seem to faze McCloskey.

"This is just a show to keep a few cranks like Dave "No T" Shulz happy," he said. "Let's just say that the right people have been contacted and given friendly advice. You ever get any friendly advice from a good friend? Then you know how important it is to follow good advice, right?"