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2/15/2006

Toledoan Baffled By Fatness Of Online Dating Partner


By Billy Pilgrim, Toledo Tales Rogue Editor

Toledoan Aaron Rice earned a new lease on life when he met his “dream woman” in an online chatroom last November, and ever since, the couple has been glued to their respective computers.

Sadly, a recent Google search has revealed that Priscilla Howard, 37, is “grossly fucking obese,” and may have lied about her other physical features.

“I can’t believe this has happened to me,” Rice bemoaned as he softly dabbed tears from his eyes. “She made me worship a 119 lb. lie! God, I bet she isn’t even a natural redhead.”

And while it is still unclear why Rice did not conduct a background check earlier in their relationship, his response is clearly one of shock and betrayal.

“Nothing matters anymore,” Rice sobbed, who admits to be a "svelte" 379 pounds himself. “There’s no way she bikes to her marketing job everyday and spends Saturdays in the park with her collie Buster. She’s a disgusting fat-body. That’s like, worse than if she was an Asian.”

Comments:
Gosh, he's a handsome one.
 
Looks to me like Aaron could pass a 119 lb. turd himself...
 
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