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2/13/2006

Toledoan Holds Out Olympic Hopes


Left: Local Olympic hopeful "Tweaky"

(Toledo, OH) The years of grueling training for local resident "Tweaky" have paid off, and the Toledo crackhead believes he may have a shot at a 2010 Olympic gold medal.

"Yeah, I was watching the TV yesterday, and I heard them talking about the 'half-pipe' event," he said, looking over his shoulder. "I thought to myself: 'Tweaky - this is your shot at the big time.' NOBODY knows more about the pipe than the Tweakman."

Tweaky, who has been a regular rock user for "fifteen or twenty years," said that he owes his skills to one special friend.

"My man G always hooks me up and never cuts me short," he said, jumping at the sound of a chirping bird. "Without G, I would have never wound up where I am today. Thank you, my friend."

Unlike most Olympic medal winners Tweaky does not envision a Wheaties box cover.

"But I would like them to make a special blend of crack and crystal meth after me," he added, scratching his cheek. "Yeah - that would be pretty cool."

Comments:
he he he
 
G-man!

What a saint!
 
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