.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Toledoan Holds Out Olympic Hopes

Left: Local Olympic hopeful "Tweaky"

(Toledo, OH) The years of grueling training for local resident "Tweaky" have paid off, and the Toledo crackhead believes he may have a shot at a 2010 Olympic gold medal.

"Yeah, I was watching the TV yesterday, and I heard them talking about the 'half-pipe' event," he said, looking over his shoulder. "I thought to myself: 'Tweaky - this is your shot at the big time.' NOBODY knows more about the pipe than the Tweakman."

Tweaky, who has been a regular rock user for "fifteen or twenty years," said that he owes his skills to one special friend.

"My man G always hooks me up and never cuts me short," he said, jumping at the sound of a chirping bird. "Without G, I would have never wound up where I am today. Thank you, my friend."

Unlike most Olympic medal winners Tweaky does not envision a Wheaties box cover.

"But I would like them to make a special blend of crack and crystal meth after me," he added, scratching his cheek. "Yeah - that would be pretty cool."

he he he

What a saint!
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?