Toledo Tales

KrazyKat at Toledo Speaks Out tagged Subcomandante Bob, and here are his responses to this vile invasion of privacy:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. AA Big Book - they keep trying to get me to read it, but so far it's just a big blue coaster.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?
Empty vodka bottle.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Infomercials, I think (it was very late).
4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
6:00 AM
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11:06 AM
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The sounds of people who have no mercy for the hung over.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Waking up on the front lawn.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The evil sun shining through the windows of the Cherry Street Mission.
9. What are you wearing?
The same clothes I passed out in.
10. Did you dream last night?
There were giant arthropods gnawing on my legs, and I couldn't make them stop.
11. When did you last laugh?
1994.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Vomit stains and graffiti
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Full many a glorious morning have I seen
Flatter the mountain-tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
My head hurts.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Leaving Las Vegas.
16. If you turned into a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A big honking boat to moor in the Maumee, stocked with the world's finest liquors.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
Subcomandante Bob is a member of the Illuminati.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?
Elimination of public intoxication laws.
19. Do you like to Dance?
Tango and rhumba, baby.
20. George Bush.
Party-freaking-animal. Hands down.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Hey man - you ain't pinning kids on me.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
Listen - how many times do I have to tell you?
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
They prefer to be called "women," not broads. I enjoy them, but would not want to become a woman.
24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Hey Bob - shaken, slightly stirred, with a blue cheese-stuffed olive, OK buddy?"
25. 4 people who must also do this theme in their journal. Mahatma Gandhi, Paris Hilton, Harry Whittington, Corey Haim.