Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) "Learning to love yourself - is the greatest love of all."

So sang Janice Rosenbaum last Friday at Mug Shots on Summit Street, voice cracking at the highest notes sung by Whitney Houston.

A long-time patron at the bar, however, failed to share Rosenbaum's enthusiasm for the song, originally written by George Benson.

"If I said to most of the people who sang karaoke, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous," said Brad Perryman of Sylvania. "It's quite obvious most of the people - especially this chick - who turned up tonight are hopeless."

Perryman said that there were historic parallels for the performance.

"If she would be singing like this two thousand years ago, people would have stoned her," he said. "The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes like this horrid creature."

Perryman, who admits to having "difficulty maintaining a relationship," said that Rosenbaum's performance was among the worst he has ever seen at Mug Shot's.

"My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't," he said to a crying Rosenbaum. "You have to have a talent to progress it. I don't believe Janice has a singing talent. She's completely wasting our time."

Bar manager Jason Stanford agreed.

"Look - I'm sorry she got shouted down, but she's going to kill our business," he said. "When someone is that bad, or sings such a hackneyed song, they are not funny. They just suck."