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McCloskey Appears In Court

(Toledo, OH) Embattled Toledo council reopresentative Bob McCloskey appeared in court Tuesday on bribery charges. A Toledo Tales reporter caught a snippet of conversation between an angry McCloskey and some associates about a political enemy.

"I want this guy dead! I want his family dead!" he shouted. "I want his house burned to the ground! I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!"

Turning to reporters, McCloskey addressed the gathered media outside the courthouse.

"This American system of ours," he told an interviewer, "call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you like, it gives to each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it."

Calmed by his attorney, McCloskey entered the courtroom.

"Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with him," he grumbled.

At one point there appeared to be a problem with the original jury selected for McCloskey's trial.

"Bailiff, I want you to go next door to Judge Hawton's court, where they've just begun hearing a divorce action," said the judge. "I want you to bring that jury in here, and take this jury to his court. Bailiff, are those instructions clear?"

"Yes, sir, they're... clear," replied the puzzled bailiff.

McCloskey, visibly agitated, turned to his attorney.

"What's he talking about?" he demanded. "What is it?"

The judge restored order, and turned again to the bailiff.

"Bailiff, I want you to switch the juries," he reiterated.

McCloskey pleaded not guilty and was released on personal recognizance. Outside the courthouse, he turned to his associates again.

"Now, l have done nothing to hurt these people, but they're angered at me," he said.
"So what do they do? Doctor up some bribery, for which they got no case, to annoy me. To speak to me like men? No. To harass a peaceful man."

Looking up to the heavens, McCloskey continued.

"I pray to God that if l ever have a grievance, I would have just a little more self respect," he said. "l'll tell you one more thing. In an all-out prize fight, when one guy's left standing, that's how you know who won."

You know, McCloskey kind of looks like a fat Deniro.
No he doesn't. He looks more like trailer park trash to me.
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