Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Based on the success of the bestselling A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, enigmatic e-zine editor Subcomandante Bob figured the market was ready for another tell-all tale of debauchery, debasement, and doltishness.

Entitled One Hundred Steaming Chunks, the book captures the essence of the zeitgeist that is the world of Subcomandante Bob, according to the author.

"I really nail myself," said Bob, autographing copies in expectation that people will soon buy the book. "I finally figure out the real me by chapter two, and then the book soars."

Subcomandante Bob, editor of the e-zines Codependent Collegian, Toledo Tales, and National Nitwit, was pleased at initial sales of One Hundred Steaming Chunks.

"I have sold copies to my caseworker, NA sponsor, and a couple of people I hustled outside the homeless shelter," he said, stubbing out a Marlboro. "My publisher - who is a dude named Mookie over here at Cherry Street Mission - is very pleased, and thinks we may be able to get a movie deal."

Like Frey, Bob has led a life dedicated to self-destruction. Unlike Frey, though, Bob believes he has no problems with authenticity.

"Every night spent face down on the front lawn is there," he said. "I pretty much capture every speed-fueled frenzy, every endless hangover, and every wasted opportunity. Also, I have had a remarkable ability to manage to avoid arrests in twenty years of hard drinking, so there's no chase scenes or any of that."

One Hundred Steaming Chunks also lacks the inspirational messages of A Million Little Pieces .

"Yeah, it's pretty much just 200 pages of idiocy," admitted Bob. "Still, if cable shows like "Viva La Bam" can manage to stay on the air, there must be a market for this kind of pointless crap."