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TPD To Push For Tanks, AWACS Units

(Toledo, OH) After procuring an M-113 armored personnel carrier, Toledo Police are hoping to add to their heavy crime-fighting equipment list.

"An armored personnel carrier is one thing, but tanks would really kick some ass," said Toledo Police Chief Jack Smith. "Can you imagine the look on the faces of some drug-dealing gangbangers if we rolled up with a couple of M1 Abrams main battle tanks?"

Smith said that the use of military vehicles should reassure neighborhood residents.

"If we use these tanks once in the next five years and save one life, it's worth the cost for us," he said. "Plus, what hoodlums are going to want to hang around if they have to stare down a 120mm smooth bore cannon? Answer: none."

Also on the shopping list: an E-3 Sentry AWACS aircraft.

"Listen - there is nothing better to protect the citizens of Toledo than a radar-based electronic system designed to carry out airborne surveillance," he said. "When you add the C2BM functions for both tactical and air defence forces, we will be locked and loaded to take down every purse-snatcher, rapist, and drug dealer in the city."

Things that go "BOOM" are cool.
On behalf of the Dexter Boyz, I'd like to say, "Bring it on, b***h!"
Subcomandante Bob you must have really been "tanked" when you wrote this one. You really cracked Me up.I was rolling on the ground with laughter, But you did forget to add A10 Warthogs to the list,my personal aircraft of choice. Also, add in a few Apaches's to replace that squirrly whirly bird they call a police chopper that the TPD currently flies.
Looks like the answer to urban renewal.All you need now is a bulldozer or two to clear the rubble, and you have a safe and friendly park for the kiddies!
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