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BP: $2.4 Million Fine "No Big Whoop"

By Toledo Tales contributor Feckless Freddie

(Oregon, OH) BP Products North America Inc. has been fined more than $2.4 million because of unsafe operations at its suburban Toledo refinery.

Among the violations: supervisors forcing employees to drink gasoline while shouting "Go! Go! Go!"

"The supervisory personnel didn't think the employee would really do it," said BP spokesman Mary Caprella. "Is it really our fault the guy was such a moron?"

OSHA also fined the company for placing the employee smoking lounge near open flammable liquids.

"Look - we never figured they would throw their lit butts into a processing area," said Caprella. "Man, that shit is just ig-nant."

The company, however, does not worry about the fine, said Caprella.

"We posted $22 BILLION - that's with a B, people - in profits last year," she said. "That works out to less than 1/100 of a percent. Better put, it's CHUMP CHANGE, y'all!" Dahab

Chump Change..., exactly!

Take it out of petty cash and leave me alone boy...
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