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4/04/2006

Carty to Build Entire Marina District Himself, Goddammit

(Toledo, OH) Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner confirmed that the city has released Pizzuti Solutions of Columbus from the Marina District development project, and that he will build the entire facility himself.

"Listen - I am the kind of man who gets slowed down by having too many chiefs around," said Finkbeiner. "I say, just give me the hammers and let me build the goddamn thing myself."

Finkbeiner plans to dig a canal on the east side of the Maumee to supplement a riverwalk like the one in San Antonio, TX.

"I'm just like John Henry, except that I'm a white guy and I never worked on the railroad," huffed the mayor as he rolled up his sleeves and grabbed a shovel. "That, and I never liked chitlins much. I mean, I'll eat 'em if I am on the campaign trail, but if no one is looking I will spit that shit right out."

The mayor said that he believes his efforts will pay off in the long run.

"Remember - I've never been a guy who could be called lazy," he said. "If I have to shore up every bank, drive every pile, and nail every plank - I'll do it, by gum. And if I have to drag those fucking tenants here by their ears, rest assured - I'll turn this toxic waste dump into a first-class marina." brrreeeport krugle

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 12:01 AM
Comments:
Becareful Bob, Carty will be hunting you down to hand you a shovel and probably won't even offer any vodka in payment.

:-)
# posted by Blogger Unknown : 12:48 AM
 
I wonder if "floating con doughs" will be in Hizzoner's Marina District plan?
More than likely, Carty fired Pizzuiti so that he can handpick who he wants in the Marina District (Pay to Play).
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5:38 PM
 
I wonder if Bob McClosky (Carty's buddy) will be playing an active role in the Marina District development.

"Hey, if you donate $100,000 to my legal defense fund, I'll make sure you get first dibs on some land for the Marina District."
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5:43 PM
 
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