Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) The trial of Father Gerald Robinson, a Catholic priest accused of murdering a nun in 1981, may bring in as much as $90 million to the local economy, according to Harvard economics professor.

"The influx of media, lawyers, and gawkers will fill local hotel rooms for weeks," said Marvin Gerhooven, professor of judicial economics. "And every one of those visitors will spend an average of $372 a day on food, amenities, and hookers."

Gerhooven compared the Robinson trial with previous high-profile court cases.

"Father Robinson will have nowhere near the impact of, say, the OJ Simpson trial, which brough $1.2 billion into the greater LA region," he said. "But there is every indication this will be up there with the nanny murder trial or the Andrea Yates trial."

Local hotel manager Kevin Hartman agreed with Gerhooven's predictions.

"We have been booked solid since last Thursday, and we jacked up the rates 50% for these corporate clowns," he said. "If we could have a sick freak like Robinson go on trial every year, this would be the richest city in America."

Not all Toledoans expecting a financial windfall

Local hooker "Candy" said that the boost to the local economy may be overrated.

"So I get in this car with a john who says he's with Court TV," she said. "He's acting like he should get a discount or something, and when we were done he asked if I'd ever done it with a famous newsman before. What a dickhead."