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4/14/2006

Local Cop Misses Days of "Endless Ass-Kicking"

Left: Keeping the peace, 1960s style

(Toledo, OH) Local police officer Thaddeus Stepanski does not agree with recent efforts to reduce violent conflict with suspects.

"As far as I am concerned, nothing gets a suspect's attention quicker than a nightstick to the skull," said the 28-year veteran. "In the old days we could have a confession out of a suspect in thirty seconds, flat."

Stepanski said that his trademark method of getting a wild suspect under control involved his handcuffs.

"Not putting on the handcuffs - that came later," he said. "No, you put the cuffs across your knuckles and put a couple dozen diamond-shaped dents in a fucker's head, and then you cuff 'im."

Another techniques from a bygone era was the ubiquitous stairwell, said Stepanski.

"Anybody who was trouble on the fifth floor was a quiet little lamb by the first floor," he smiled. "There is something about falling down a couple flights of stairs that makes even the biggest punk shut right the hell up. Ah - if we could only return to the good old days." Eminem Proof

Comments:
HA HA!!!

Someone got greenlit on fark because they thought this was real news!
 
This is funny, but kinda dark. I know sick cops like that.
 
Hmmm. Good cop. Need more!
 
HA! Good stuff, Bob. You have obviously met a cop like that - wanna name names?
 
I knew it was fake as soon as I read the word "Toledo" everyone knows Canadians are weenies.
 
Toledo, CANADA?
 
moron.. toledo OHIO.. my god.. learn how to read
 
Hey brother - it's Friday night and everyone is drunk. Cut 'em some slack on the whole spelling and geography thang.
 
Bad cop, no donut.
 
Too funny - everyone knoews a suck cop like Stepansky.
 
God bless the dear man. We need more like him. Especially in the negro neighborhoods.
 
boooooooooooooobbs
 
I had sex with a horse. And now I'm dead.
 
Farked again I see.

:-)
 
Yo, that sho' ain't right fo' the 'hood, the Man be opressin' tha playas. Yo, Stop Snitching!
 
FUCK the police.
 
Yes - Farked again, Lisa.
 
Eminem Proof
 
One thing about this pic. Bob it was taken in New Orleans after Katrina rolled in
 
Whoah Bob, way too close to too many cops that I know.

On second thought, that makes it non-funny, if you think about it. . .
 
If you're too stupid to understand "STOP!! POLICE!!", you need to have your skull caved in.

(disclaimer: The previous comments are not the opinions of the author, but simply another lame attempt to post something ignorant. The police are heros and are respected pillars of the community.)
 
typical abusive, destructive, cowardly toledo cop.
 
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