(Toledo, OH) A local canine interviewed by Toledo Tales is amazed at what you people toss in your garbage each week.
Hopper, a black-and-white dog of multiple ancestries, took issue with what he called "squandering humans."
"Look at this bone! Will you look at this bone? It's still got meat on it, for Chrissakes," said Hopper, snuffing in one of your garbage bags. "I mean, thanks a lot, but what if I hadn't been here to root through this garbage?"
Hopper said that he has found all sorts of delicious treats and tasty edibles in your garbage in the recent past.
"Oh yeah - I found half a side of prime rib and some mashed potatoes last week," he said, licking the remnants of a can of tuna. "That was an absolute feast, and it was all mine."
The refuse connoisseur said that he watches for your trash to go out with special gusto.
"The Hamiltons, they hardly ever leave anything good," he noted. "But you people - if I wasn't so hungry all the time, I would make you come out here and eat this good food. Shame on you - hey, are you going to eat that chicken bone?"