.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

5/21/2006

Fat Guy "Suicidal" Over Closing of Last Krispy Kreme

Left: Say it ain't so...

(Toledo, OH) Toledoan Aaron Rice, a longtime Krispy Kreme customer, was despondent to find out that Toledo's last Krispy Kreme location is closing.

"Un-freaking-believeable. That's about all I can say," said Rice, a creme-filled doughnut in each beefy hand. "It's not like this town is exactly crawling with doughnut joints, and the ones that are here pretty much suck. Let me ask you - how's a guy like me supposed to get by?"

Rice said that he believes his health may be in jeopardy because of the corporate decision to close the store.

"Hey man - my body has become attuned to a steady influx of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. What's going to happen when I am suddenly cut off?" he asked. "If I have a heart attack or go into shock because my supply is gone, somebody's ass is gonna get sued."

Realizing that today was the last day, Rice had a large order phoned ahead for pickup.

"I was able to get thirty dozen of my favorite varieties boxed up," he said. "I can freeze most of them, and this will carry me about six weeks if I am not too much of a pig. But what am I gonna do when they are gone?"Macbook American Idol weight loss obesity overweight dieting


Comments:
Hey,

Just bought a coin from americanidolcoin.com which will feature 2 finalists on 2 sides! Price is just $14.95.. Get yours at americanidolcoin.com.

C ya,
Idolfan987.
 
Yeah, just look at poor Aaron. Why he's just "waisting" away...
 
Just another bit of typical lame closings, bankrupcies and other BS that goes on daily in Toledo.

I've literally closed myself indoors nowadays since the world outside isn't anywhere near how I wished it was, and I find it difficult to bother going out for anything unless a friend or someone insists I do so.

I do go out (having two crappy part-time jobs), but it's just not the same as I remember it used to be growing up nearly 30 years ago. For one thing, I want the Miracle Mile Drive-In back! PLEASE!!!! That land is just going to pot with hardly anything there for the past 2-3 years.

I only wish I had money for that sort of thing, or I'd pull it off, but I bet National Amusements would use any tatic to stop me from opening up a rival theater in town. They already had to close down the Showcase Cinemas and Franklin Park 6 near me, and I really have NO other choice whatsoever in seeing af film other than whatever's playing at their bloated 16-dinkyplex. They've ruined themselves in when they decided to by out the AMC locations a decade ago, now they've just ruined the geography altogether. I'd rather bring back the Greenwood Cine too and the other Ma & Pa locations I loved best, or at least another chain to compete again (Walgreens here still has to sell those AMC gift cards knowone would ever use unless they don't mind taking the trip up to Detroit for a show).

Sorry if I'm rambling on, but I have to! It's part of my routine! :-)
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?