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5/21/2006

Fat Guy "Suicidal" Over Closing of Last Krispy Kreme

Left: Say it ain't so...

(Toledo, OH) Toledoan Aaron Rice, a longtime Krispy Kreme customer, was despondent to find out that Toledo's last Krispy Kreme location is closing.

"Un-freaking-believeable. That's about all I can say," said Rice, a creme-filled doughnut in each beefy hand. "It's not like this town is exactly crawling with doughnut joints, and the ones that are here pretty much suck. Let me ask you - how's a guy like me supposed to get by?"

Rice said that he believes his health may be in jeopardy because of the corporate decision to close the store.

"Hey man - my body has become attuned to a steady influx of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. What's going to happen when I am suddenly cut off?" he asked. "If I have a heart attack or go into shock because my supply is gone, somebody's ass is gonna get sued."

Realizing that today was the last day, Rice had a large order phoned ahead for pickup.

"I was able to get thirty dozen of my favorite varieties boxed up," he said. "I can freeze most of them, and this will carry me about six weeks if I am not too much of a pig. But what am I gonna do when they are gone?"Macbook American Idol weight loss obesity overweight dieting


Comments:
Yeah, just look at poor Aaron. Why he's just "waisting" away...
 
Just another bit of typical lame closings, bankrupcies and other BS that goes on daily in Toledo.

I've literally closed myself indoors nowadays since the world outside isn't anywhere near how I wished it was, and I find it difficult to bother going out for anything unless a friend or someone insists I do so.

I do go out (having two crappy part-time jobs), but it's just not the same as I remember it used to be growing up nearly 30 years ago. For one thing, I want the Miracle Mile Drive-In back! PLEASE!!!! That land is just going to pot with hardly anything there for the past 2-3 years.

I only wish I had money for that sort of thing, or I'd pull it off, but I bet National Amusements would use any tatic to stop me from opening up a rival theater in town. They already had to close down the Showcase Cinemas and Franklin Park 6 near me, and I really have NO other choice whatsoever in seeing af film other than whatever's playing at their bloated 16-dinkyplex. They've ruined themselves in when they decided to by out the AMC locations a decade ago, now they've just ruined the geography altogether. I'd rather bring back the Greenwood Cine too and the other Ma & Pa locations I loved best, or at least another chain to compete again (Walgreens here still has to sell those AMC gift cards knowone would ever use unless they don't mind taking the trip up to Detroit for a show).

Sorry if I'm rambling on, but I have to! It's part of my routine! :-)
 
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