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5/11/2006

Father Robinson Jury Just Wanted to Watch "American Idol"

Left: Robinson no match for American Idol

(Toledo, OH) The jurors in the trial of Father Gerald Robinson, accused of killing a nun in 1980, told Toledo Tales that they reached such a quick verdict because they didn't want to miss any more "American Idol" episodes.

"This stupid case caused me to miss Chris Daughtry getting booted off the show," said juror Mandy Pollard. "There is no way I am going to miss any more of Idol, so I jumped in with the "guilty" crowd just to be done with it. Pretty much everyone else wanted to get back to Simon, Paula, and that black dude's crazy antics."

Three other jurors confirmed Pollard's assessment.

"My heart really goes out to that Katharine McPhee, who reminds me of myself in 8th grade choir," said Kerrie Finnegan. "I had a 2-line solo, and I totally screwed it up. I can't wait to see her fall down again on national TV. And Robinson - I got so tired of watching him nod off in court that I just didn't care any more. Guilt, not guilty - what's the difference?"

Most jurrors queried by Toledo Tales quickly turned from the details of the Robinson case to the intrigue behind last night's surprise exit of Daughtry.

"Old what's-his-face and the dead nun have nothing on the conspiracy to kill the one good singer on Idol - Chris Daughtry," said Jerry Briggs. "Chris got flat out robbed last night on American Idol, and that's the real crime we need to be investigating. How can such a great talent like Chris Daughtry get voted out in favor of those no-talent losers? Maybe if I hadn't been stuck on this Robinson case I could have made a couple dozen calls to vote for Chris. Maybe Robinson killed Chris Daughtry, too!"





# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 12:31 PM
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