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Zoo to Issue Rifles, Grenades for Poaching Exhibit

(Toledo, OH) In its effort to recreate as closely as possible the environment of animals in the wild, the Toledo Zoo last week unveiled its "Poach-N-Gut" exhibit.

Visitors to the new zoo feature can choose from a wide variety of animals to hunt from behind the safety of protective fencing.

"One of the best features is the fact that the poaching patrons are positioned in front of the food," said Dr. Anne Baker, the zoo's executive director. "If the critters want to eat, they have to survive a barrage of 30:06 Springfield fire."

An added bonus, said Baker, is that visitors to the exhibit get to eviscerate their killed prey.

"Much of the excitement of poaching is gutting the dead beast," she said. "There is nothing quite like sticking your hand in the steaming entrails of a dying elephant in order to appreciate the circle of life."

The exhibit, which has an additional fee of $129 per visitor, is open year round.

"Winter times are the best, as those African savannah creatures have to shiver through the snow," Baker laughed. "Almost everyone bags a gazelle in January." Stephen COlbert

Don't quit your day job.
Wow. That's an original. Did you stay up all night thinking that one up, anonymous?
Aw, so's your old man.
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