.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

6/20/2006

Area Heroin User "Not Impressed" with Fetanyl-Smack Blend


(Toledo, OH) Longtime opiate connoisseur Jerry Percival, contacted by Toledo Tales for his opinions on deadly heroin appearing in the Midwest, gave the fetanyl-based mix a less-than-glowing review.

"It's pale, papery white with fine persistent perlage, and has a rich, elegant bouquet with bright floral accents and hints of honeydew melon mingled with some sweetness," he said. "However, I'd have liked more fruit; to be frank it falls a bit short, and at present the tannins are showing their splintery side. Also, I did not get that great of a buzz."

Percival said his second dose, from the same dealer, showed "definite signs of contamination during the aging process."

"The result was a flat, lifeless smack that lost its pretty, vibrant fruit scents and tasted insipid -- it reminded me of vinegar," he said. "I also noticed a certain dullness in the color, and it degraded into a light yellow finish."

The hype about the bad heroin, said Percival, is largely a function of amateur users who accept an inferior product from disreputable dealers.

"Bad blow exists for the same reason that inappropriate ethnic jokes still make their rounds, because people do not speak up to condemn their use," he said, tightening a belt on his arm in preparation for another hit. "Some people are in such a hurry to get high that they will take the most sulphurous, bitter heroin cut with laundry detergent. As long as there are timid consumers, dealers will continue to proffer low-quality opiates."

Comments:
mmmmppphhh....
 
You'd think that heroin dealers would have more business sense than to handle the cheap shit. It cheapens their clientele and it cheapens their own reputations.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?