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6/11/2006

Bookie Lays 3:2 Odds On Carty Going Berserk By Christmas

Left: Napolitano says Carty's due

(Toledo, OH) Local numbers man Vic "Bigguns" Napolitano has been following the career of Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner for many years, and he can't believe that the volatile politician hasn't lost his temper yet.

"I mean, come on! Carty's over five months into the term, and he's only had a couple of public F-bombs," he said, shaking his head. "It's like sticking a cork in Old Faithful - eventually, you know it's gonna blow."

Napolitano is so sure that Finkbeiner will have "a major cow" by Christmas that he is taking bets on the likelihood that the feisty pol will take a swing at someone.

"To my mind this is a sure thing, hence the low spread," he said, poring over spreadsheets. "It's the physical part that's the catch. If he has a couple of verbal tirades before then, he might be able to keep from killing someone. If not, we could be talking multiple homicides."

The veteran bookie said that there has been "a ton of interest" in the betting action on Carty Finkbeiner getting violent.

"There's not a plant in town where we aren't pulling in $1,000 a week on this one," he said. "My guys can hardly keep up with the calls. We've had to keep someone hanging around One Government Center seven days a week just to meet the action. Face it - the guy is a ticking time bomb, and everybody wants a piece of this bet."

Comments:
I think the odds are better than that!
 
For all intensive purposes, Carty's probably gone berserk several times this year. The local media (especially The Blade) is good at covering up most of his tirates. Also, the police will never arrest him if he assaults anyone, and the police will participate in the cover up too.

And keep in mind, like the equally corrpt and volatile Richard Nixon, Carty's got an Enemies List. If you're on it, expect city inspectors to pay your business a visit, or expect an audit from the Department of Taxation. No matter what he does, he always gets revenge.
 
"Face it - the guy is a ticking time bomb, and everybody wants a piece of this bet."

Theory #1:
Carleton "Short-Fuse" Finkbeiner is in his senior years, and the dementia-like fits displayed could be indicative of something that no one really wants to talk about publicly.

Theory #2:
Either that, or he's just doing his usual asshole impression that he does so damned well.

Personally, I believe the asshole theory. It's more "Carty."
 
"anonymous" just posted one of my cliche pet peeves.

You lost me at:
"For all intensive purposes"

The True Cliche:
For all intents and purposes.

Good on ya, anonymous and no hard feelings...

...Just saying you jumped up and down on my last nerve as well as inform you of the correct wordage.

(wordnerd)
 
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