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Carty: Yard Signs "Just the Start" of Bike Path Terror

Left: Time to play hardball

(Toledo, OH) Toledo mayor Carty Finkbeiner, angered at opposition to the bike path he proposed for South Toledo, vowed that he will do "whatever it takes" to convince residents to support the plan.

"You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word," he said, waving a baseball bat for emphasis. "Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with him."

Finkbeiner said that he is shocked at the level of unhappiness that some residents have expressed about the plan.

"Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no case," he said. "To speak to me like me, no, to harrass a peaceful man. I pray to God if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self respect."

The mayor said that he considers WSPD morning host Fred Lefebvre responsible for inflaming discontent among citizens about the bike path.

"I want this guy dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground!" screamed Finkbeiner. "I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!"

What do I like more than Carty's attitude?
Satire on Carty's attitude.

Loved the post.
Go Carty!
I think you need to dial up the hostility a bit to make it convincing...
"I want this guy dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground!" screamed Finkbeiner. "I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!"

With this paragraph, I think that you have captured the essence of Carty.

The words "captured" and "Carty" just naturally belong together. Sorta like Looney and Tunes...
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