Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) A local canine interviewed by Toledo Tales is quite perturbed at the "punk-ass looks" he keeps getting from your cat.

Hopper, a black-and-white dog of multiple ancestries, spoke to reporters in the hope that something will be done about the problem.


"I'm a pretty easygoing dog, and I am usually content with a bark or two toward the average cat," he said. "But if that cat of yours gives me that smarmy, arrogant look again I will rip out his throat."

Hopper said that the problems with your cat have been going on for "many months" now.

"I'd say that Mr. Cat has used up eight of his nine lives," he said. "The clock is ticking, and the jig is about up on Kitty-Boy."

Appealing to your sense of fairness, Hopper asks that you take immediate action.

"Listen - I don't want to cause any trouble, or make you feel threatened," he said, sniffing at an unidentified object next to your front door. "But there's only so much a dog can take, and dammit - I'm at my wit's end here. Either the cat knocks this shit off, or I will not be responsible for the carnage that will ensue."