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6/30/2006

Opinion: Where is MY Bag of Cash That Fell off a Brink's Truck?

A guest editorial by Mr. Todd Perryman

In the news today I saw another lucky son-of-a-bitch who came across a sack of money in the middle of the street while driving his pickup truck.

By my count that is at least the 807th time this has happened in the past year.

What I want to know is this: Where the hell is MY bag of cash that fell off a Brink's truck?

Some people wait for their "ships to come in," and others play the lottery.

Me? I'm waiting for that bag of cash that fell off of a Brink's truck.

It's pretty simple - the 807 times this has happened are only the ones that the Brinks Company has told the public. The way I got it figured, there is a mechanical defect in the rear doors of Brinks trucks that causes them to pop open at the slightest bump in the road.


Do you think they would actually report all of the times this has happened? I don't think so, Paco.

So day after day I keep my eyes open for Brinks bags on the side of the road, and some days I even follow Brinks trucks. I just know I am going to find my very own Brinks bag soon. Very soon.

The odds are in my favor, you know. I've been watching Brinks Truck #1034TA for a couple of weeks now, and those fuckers have never lost a bag. Given the company's terrible track record of money sacks falling off the back of trucks, they are way overdue, my friend.

And when it happens - I'll pick up that cash and waltz right straight to Easyville.

Comments:
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