.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Local Weed Man Offers Up Holiday Advice

By Toledo Tales contributor Feckless Freddie

Left: "Piper," a local dope man

(Toledo, OH) A record number of travelers are on the road this holiday weekend, with nearly 41 million Americans driving more than 50 miles to celebrate July 4th.

Among those logging record hours on the road this weekend is local pharmaceuticals rep "Piper" and his crew.

"Yeah, the cell phones have been busy at the weirdest hours the last few days," he said. "Your bankers and government workers might get to take the holiday off, but people got to have their dope. The urge to get stoned just doesn't take vacations."

Piper urged motorists to "use caution" this holiday weekend.

"Listen - getting stuck on the e-way sucks, but it's nothing to get into a rage about," he said. "While you're waiting, just fire up that blunt and chill out, man. The backup will eventually pass, and you can play some Bob Marley while you are waiting. It's all good."

Piper also urged vacationers to "plan ahead" for their holiday travels.

"We appreciate your business, but when you are two hours away in a cottage on the lake it's going to take us a while to get to you," he said. "Be sure to call us before the trip for all your hallucinatory needs, and remember: the rustling in your bushes is just the wind, man. Nobody is hiding in there."

Yeah, think ahead people.

Hey Piper, can you get me some Viagra?

It would hav to be in someone else's name, of course ;-)

It's not for me, it's for a "research" project test subject...

Thanks Much!
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?