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7/03/2006

Local Weed Man Offers Up Holiday Advice

By Toledo Tales contributor Feckless Freddie

Left: "Piper," a local dope man


(Toledo, OH) A record number of travelers are on the road this holiday weekend, with nearly 41 million Americans driving more than 50 miles to celebrate July 4th.

Among those logging record hours on the road this weekend is local pharmaceuticals rep "Piper" and his crew.

"Yeah, the cell phones have been busy at the weirdest hours the last few days," he said. "Your bankers and government workers might get to take the holiday off, but people got to have their dope. The urge to get stoned just doesn't take vacations."

Piper urged motorists to "use caution" this holiday weekend.

"Listen - getting stuck on the e-way sucks, but it's nothing to get into a rage about," he said. "While you're waiting, just fire up that blunt and chill out, man. The backup will eventually pass, and you can play some Bob Marley while you are waiting. It's all good."

Piper also urged vacationers to "plan ahead" for their holiday travels.

"We appreciate your business, but when you are two hours away in a cottage on the lake it's going to take us a while to get to you," he said. "Be sure to call us before the trip for all your hallucinatory needs, and remember: the rustling in your bushes is just the wind, man. Nobody is hiding in there."

Comments:
Yeah, think ahead people.

Hey Piper, can you get me some Viagra?

It would hav to be in someone else's name, of course ;-)

It's not for me, it's for a "research" project test subject...

Thanks Much!
 
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