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8/26/2006

Future Sociopath Graduates from Burning Bugs to Torturing Cats

Left: Moving to bigger and better prey

(Toledo, OH) 14-year-old Justin Hammett knows a thing or two about tormenting insects.

"I've been pulling the wings off flies and stabbing caterpillars since I was a little kid," he chuckled during an interview with Toledo Tales reporters. "There's probably not a species of bug I haven't killed with a slow, painful death yet."

Hammet, however, seeks new challenges with his desire to infilct pain on other creatures, and his neighbor's cat appears to be the next target.

"Look at him, sitting over there staring at me," he said, pointing to a young tabby in his neighbor's window. "One of these days, you will be mine, cat."

Bootsie, a neighbor's catLeft: Bootsie sits, unaware of the looming danger from Hammett

Hammett has not decided on his plan of action vis-a-vis Bootsie.

"I was toying with stringing him up with a little kitty noose, but people would probably figure out it was me," he said, acknowledging that he has "a bit of a reputation" for disturbed behavior. "So I'll probably feed him rat poison and pour antifreeze in his water dish."

The young man did not seem concerned about his actions.

"Listen - if it wasn't me, it would be any one of a hundred other dudes," he said, scratching his neck. "If you are born a bug or a cat, you're pretty much doomed to a shitty life. Here, Bootsie, Bootsie!"

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 3:04 PM
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