.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Local Bowler Looks Forward to New Season

Stoned bowling afficianadoLeft: Jazubowski can't wait for fall leagues

(Toledo, OH) Local bowling afficianado Nathan "Nappy" Jazubowski says that the summer leagues have "totally blown dick," and that he looks forward to the return of the local fall bowling season.

"No doubt - the summer brings out the worst sort of bowlers," he said, rolling a joint as he spoke with Toledo Tales reporters. "You got your divorced dads with wild-ass kids, your drunken teenagers, and your angry-looking black dudes who look like they want to shoot you dead. No sir - summer bowling is not my favorite."

Worse yet, said Jazubowski, the food service at local establishments has been "über-lousy."

"At Imperial Lanes they haven't even got a snack bar girl most nights, and the shoe guy has to take care of cooking your french fries," he said, shaking his head. "Sorry - the thought of sweat socks and hot dogs just doesn't cut it, homey."

Smoking potLeft: Jazubowski gets ready for the tenth frame in a recent summer league match

Jazubowski's complaints have fallen on deaf ears, he said.

"The worst part is the owners just don't give a shit what happens in the summer, since business is so bad in the bowling alleys," he said, finishing off his fat spliff and letting out a deep exhale. "They take our money from the fall and spring, and go on vacation someplace, leaving their pimply-faced, inbred nephews to run the joints. As a year-round paying customer, I expect a little bit more, you know?"

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?