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Area Musician "Totally Ready" to Sell Out, Blow This Shit Hole

Musician is ready to sell out Left: Fed up and fixing to jump on board the corporate gravy train

(Toledo, OH) Local musician Jack Mollenkopf says that he is "pretty tired" of holding on to the dream of maintaining artistic integrity as he forges ahead in the music industry.

"Face it - not many musicians or bands can keep more than a shred of dignity anyways," he said between Tuesday night sets at Maxwell's Brew. "I am tired of being broke, tired of playing to 'crowds' of eleven people, and tired of bar tabs that are bigger than my so-called 'take' of the door."

Mollenkopf, who has been a member of "over a dozen" local bands plus being a fixture on the acoustic singer-songwriter scene since 1995, said that Toledo audiences "suck in just about every way possible."

"Most houses only come alive when I play stupid bullshit like Nickelback's "How You Remind Me" or "Photograph," and it kills me to keep recycling this insipid drivel," he said, crushing a cigarette under his Doc Martens. "But if I have to play bullshit, at least it could be MY bullshit, and maybe I could actually make some money while I am doing it."

Small audience for Mollenkopf's gigsLeft: Small crowds, smaller minds

The would-be megastar believes that he needs to make the jump to "soulless big label lackey" soon.

"Crappy mamangement jobs in fast food restaurants are starting to sound good right about now," admitted Mollenkopf. "At least at those places you get a salary, benefits, and all the curly fries you can eat. Any more of this shit and I am calling Arby's."

Speaking of local bands:
Whatever happened to
Local Anesthetic?

Gawd they rocked!

I know local Toledo bands do not get the monetary lurve they deserve, but they shoud just know that for every 10 people jamming live there are at least 2 die hard fans
(not related in any way to the band members)
That dig what they are doing.

sobriety test to post:
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