Toledo Tales

Left: Fan club president Jazubowski is pissed

(Toledo, OH) Bowling afficianado and president of the local Billy Squier Fan Club Nathan "Nappy" Jazubowski said that the "rock snobbery" of the Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame is to blame for Squier not being inducted.

"There's just no other explanation why a guy this talented gets left out in the cold," said Jazubowski, pausing to hit a passed joint and to flip a vinyl copy of 1982's Emotions in Motion. "Billy Squier is a rock god, and should be remembered that way in the Hall of Fame."

Left: Squier unappreciated by the "tight-assed freaks" of the Selection Committee

Squier, who had a string of arena rock and power ballad hits in the early 1980s, is probably best known for the song "The Stroke" on his 1981 album Don't Say No.

"Stroke Me, Stroke Me," crooned Jazubowski in a duet with roommate Kevin Grefton, who was largely unconscious on the couch. "Is there a song that better captures the teenage angst and futility of the material world? I - don't - think - so."

Jazubowski said that the Fan Club will "keep up the fight" to get Squier nominated and, ultimately, inducted into the Hall of Fame.

"It's the least we can do for the guy who gave us that killer power rock riff in 'Everybody Wants You,'" he said. "You know it, right? 'Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-DEE-da-da-da-da.' Nobody rocks the joint better than Billy Squier."