.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

10/01/2006

Animal Shelter Worker Secretly Glad Poodle Put Down

Left: Marlowe recalling the unwanted guest

(Perrysburg, OH) Loving Paws worker Sheila Marlowe admitted to Toledo Tales reporters that she was "happy as hell" that a 7-year-old poodle mix named "Pepper" had to be put to sleep last week.

"Oh yeah - that dog had the most annoying bark, and bit everyone foolish enough to put a hand near it," she said, recalling the former resident of the animal shelter. "After the third or fourth time it sunk its teeth into my arm, I was ready to beat it like a baby harp seal."

Peppers came to the shelter six weeks ago when a family claimed it was moving to an apartment that did not allow pets, said Marlowe.

"But the fact is that those people lied. Flat-out lied," she said, pausing as she groomed a new arrival. "This mongrel was the most unloveable beast I have ever seen, and it was clear that they dropped off the mutt because they absolutely hated it."

Left: Peppers never quite fit in at Loving Paws

Marlowe said that the decision by staffers to euthanize Peppers was "unanimous."

"Usually there's one or two soft-hearted types who want to give an animal another week," she said. "But we all but threw a party after the vote on this mangy cur. May you rot in hell, you worthless, yapping incubus."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 11:10 AM
Comments:
You know, Pepper looks perfect for doggie sausages.

Skinned, cleaned and deboned, with just the right seasonings (hold the pepper HA!), and you should get a good 7-8 pounds of doggie weenies out of the sorry mutt.
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 6:56 PM
 
fuck you pepper's cute and u must be japanese if ur thinking about eating a dog
# posted by Blogger MadamexMe : 10:45 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?