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10/24/2006

Debut of Belly Button Piercing Marred by "Navel Funk"

Left: Unimpressed with new piercing

(Toledo, OH) Local body art critics, interviewed by Toledo Tales reporters, panned the unveiling of Tara Fletcher's new navel ring Monday.

"It was a nice looking stone in an expensive setting, but Tara needs to take care of some basic navel maintenance," opined Craig Halpern of Toledo. "When I got closer for a better view, I saw some serious grunge going on down there. One word: 'Ugh.'"

Fellow critic Jenna Barkley agreed with Halpern's assessment.

"She also has some hair growing out of her belly button, plus the beginnings of stretch marks," she chided. "And, if I am not mistaken, there was a distinct aroma of stale cheese emanating from the site of the piercing."

Left: Work still remains to be done on Fletcher's navel project, according to critics

Paul Wisniewski of Sylvania was even more blunt in his criticism of the new body art.

"I hate to say this - really - but there are things happening in Tara's belly button that are flat out wrong," he said, shaking his head in disapproval. "She's all like: 'Oooo- come check out my piercing' and I'm all like: 'Oooo- get the fuck away from me, you filthy beast.' I mean, I'm not judgmental or anything, but I would bet ten bucks that the last time she washed that shit was in 1997. Seriously."

Comments:
If she is that stupid not to wash, she deserves them giving her grief.
 
EWWW!
 
If Tara would just do some basic housecleaning each week the goo and chunks wouldn't collect like that.

Now, if she applied a Q-Tip and some hydrogen peroxide, she'd probably foam until next Thursday, but it has to be done.

Foam away...
 
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