.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

10/31/2006

Trick-or-Treaters Serve as Reminder of Couple’s Infertility

By Billy Pilgrim, Toledo Tales Rogue Editor

The Fitzhughs blame each other, God for their broken biology

Toledo natives Sam and Rita Fitzhugh have tried every conceivable option to increase their likelihood of having children during their seven years of marriage, all to no avail.

And while the pain and guilt of a barren nest “subsides a little each day,” the Fitzhughs seem to grow contemptuous every Halloween, when a seemingly endless parade of healthy, normal children arrive on their doorstep begging for candy.

“Some years Rita just starts drinking at noon,” Mr. Fitzhugh revealed while slowly sipping a mug of steaming Irish tea. “Each ghoul and ghost that graces our stoop is a blatant reminder of our sterility. Jesus—what did we do to deserve this?”

Not surprisingly, Mrs. Fitzhugh found the issue even more difficult to discuss.

“Snickers bars, M&M’s, the occasional Reese’s pieces. This is all I can offer the world now,” Mrs. Fitzhugh slurred during an exclusive phone interview on her lunch break. “My womb is like the jack-o-lantern: its flame has expired with the night wind."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 7:07 PM
Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?