Toledo Tales

(Toledo, OH) Harold Primzahl's fascination with prime numbers began at an early age.

"When I played with blocks, I only used the ones with 2, 3, 5, and 7," he told Toledo Tales reporters. "The other ones I chucked down the furnace duct."

Primzahl provided an explanation for his primephilia.

"Listen - any number that can be divided by a number other than itself or 1 is weak, sniveling, and not deserving of my trust," he said. "Besides, every even integer greater than 2 can be written as a sum of two primes, and every odd integer greater than 5 can be written as a sum of three primes. What more do you need from a set of numbers?"

Left: The objects of Goerrer's affection

Primzahl has integrated prime numbers into every facet of his life.

"I live at 1051 Oak, which is a prime number, and I had to fight like hell to get Ameritech to give me the prime 693-7963 as a phone number," he said, proudly adding that local area code 419 is a prime. "When I cook microwave popcorn, it's for exactly for 101 seconds, and I heat cans of soup for 163 seconds."

Unfortunately, the number 1 is not prime, and the single Primzahl hopes to correct this most glaring of non-prime aspects of his life.

"When I meet that someone special, we will be prime," he said, referencing the number 2. "Until then, my life is not complete, and I remain untrue to my primal urge. Heh heh - 'primal.' Get it? I crack myself up sometimes."