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11/05/2006

Toledo Woman Totally Disagrees with Today’s WTOL Futurecast

By Billy Pilgrim, Toledo Tales Rogue Editor

Willis gives Shiels the “stink eye” through the 37" display

(Toledo, OH) 29-year-old Belinda Willis, a lifelong Toledo native, has never been one to make a fuss.

But this morning, as Willis began planning her outfit for a long day of preliminary Christmas shopping, she couldn’t avoid bickering with Robert Shiels’s forecast on WTOL-11.

“There is no freaking way it’s gonna hit 50 degrees today…this guy’s on drugs,” Willis huffed as she angrily slid on a pair of wool socks. “There’s just no way. Yesterday he said it would be 48, light, and breezy — it barely hit 39, and was so overcast I turned my headlights on mid-day. What a jackass.”

Willis also added that she could "get better weather info from the retarded guy who bags groceries" at the Monroe Street Kroger's.

"At least that drooling feeb is outside fetching carts once in a while," she said. "Maybe he is always trying to stare down my shirt when he throws the bags in my car, but at least he knows what the weather is."

Willis believes that Shiels is a "lying sack of" canine excrement

Willis became even more contemptuous when she considered Shiels’s handsome compensation for his disastrous prognostications.

“I bet he makes $60K a year, easy. How can he even look himself in the mirror when his 'Futurecasts' are accurate less than 10 percent of the time?” Willis muttered as she threw an umbrella and spare set of gloves in the backseat of her Corolla. “Someone should club his knees with a tire iron. Then maybe he’d get this shit right. Holy crap—I think I just saw a snowflake.”

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 10:57 AM
Comments:
Just for a second, ponder Bobby Shiels' initials.
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 9:20 AM
 
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