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12/02/2006

Fat Guy Pushing for 10-Meter Sprint in Olympic Games

(Toledo, OH) Toledoan Aaron Rice, who weighs in at a hefty 377 pounds, said that he is embarking on a campaign to add a new event to the Summer Olympics: the 10-meter dash.

"It's pretty simple, really - there's no way in hell I could even walk 100 meters," he said. "I figure I'd at least have a fighting chance if the distance was shortened."

Rice said that he has mapped out a 10-meter course in his house, and is engaged in regular training.

"In my house it's exactly the distance from the couch to the refrigerator," he said, flexing his leg muscles. "You've got to be pretty damned fast to get to the fridge, find something to eat, and run back before the Final Jeopardy answers get revealed."

Very large sandwichLeft: Training begins with a healthy infusion of carbs, according to Rice

Rice also believes that there is another advantage to his participation in the proposed 10-meter dash.

"With a fortuitous jump, gravity and momentum should give me an edge against those skinny sprinters," he noted. "Plus, in the shorter sprint my competitors will actually travel farther, since they have to go around me. All in all - I was made for this event."

Comments:
Attaboy! Now go eat that sandwich!
 
what a fat motherfucker.
 
And I thought that I was in bad shape...

This sukker should have his own zip code.
 
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