.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Local Weed Man Offers Holiday Gift Suggestions

Guest editorial by "Piper," a local pharmaceuticals rep

Many of you are scrambling to find that perfect gift for that special someone. What you should be doing is calling the Piperman to take care of your holiday shopping needs.

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a half-ounce of Maui Wowie. Imagine the surprise on Cousin Nick's face when he opens what he thought was another stupid tie! Spark up, dude!

And for the Nervous Nellies in your family, be sure to hook them up with a couple dozen Valium. Even better, slip a few in the old egg nog for a laid-back holiday, even in a room full of the most tight-assed people around.

Heroin stashWe've got all sizes, colors, and dosages for every addict on your list

For your fashion-conscious relatives, be sure to check out our lines of designer drugs. It ain't a night of clubbing without a little Ecstasy, ketamine, or some retro LSD as you dance the night away.

Finally, if you're not sure exactly what drugs that loopy uncle of yours is on, just stick a $50 bill and my number on a scrap of paper (419-DOPEMAN). If there's one thing that an addict is happy to see it's hard, cold, spendable cash.

Oh, and a Merry Christmas to you and yours this holiday season!

Labels: ,

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?