12/06/2006
Opinion: My God Can Totally Kick Your God's Ass
Guest editorial by Nathan Higgins, 4th grade
Okay, Aladdin - I mean Yussef. Yeah, you play basketball OK, and Katie Jefferson likes you, and you can speak Arab, and blah, blah, blah.
But my God can kick your God's ass. Totally!
Who says? I say, that's who! And Reverend Mitchell at our church, him too! So there!
He says your God - Ali Babba or whatever - is a false idol, and a gravestone image, and all of that. Plus, he said the Crusaders totally beat your sand-eating people in every war.
If your God is so tough, why does he always make you lose? You losers! Plus, my God's got fire, and brimstone, and lightning, and nuclear bombs, but all your God has is a dinky tin sword.
If your God is all that and a bag of Hot Cheetoes, tell him to come out and show us. I'm waiting! Still waiting... still waiting... still waiting... still waiting.
Guess he's afraid of little old Nathan, too. What a wussy-God!
Tell you what, loser - better find a cool God, like Jesus H. Christ. Now there's a guy who can kick your ass.
What? Chicken? Thought so. But if your God ever stops being a baby-God, tell him to meet me and Jesus out here. Any day. Any time.
Loser!
Okay, Aladdin - I mean Yussef. Yeah, you play basketball OK, and Katie Jefferson likes you, and you can speak Arab, and blah, blah, blah.
But my God can kick your God's ass. Totally!
Who says? I say, that's who! And Reverend Mitchell at our church, him too! So there!
He says your God - Ali Babba or whatever - is a false idol, and a gravestone image, and all of that. Plus, he said the Crusaders totally beat your sand-eating people in every war.
If your God is so tough, why does he always make you lose? You losers! Plus, my God's got fire, and brimstone, and lightning, and nuclear bombs, but all your God has is a dinky tin sword.
If your God is all that and a bag of Hot Cheetoes, tell him to come out and show us. I'm waiting! Still waiting... still waiting... still waiting... still waiting.
Guess he's afraid of little old Nathan, too. What a wussy-God!
Tell you what, loser - better find a cool God, like Jesus H. Christ. Now there's a guy who can kick your ass.
What? Chicken? Thought so. But if your God ever stops being a baby-God, tell him to meet me and Jesus out here. Any day. Any time.
Loser!