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A Vote For Bob is a Vote Against the Terrorists

An open letter from Subcomandante Bob

Dear Friends (and creditors who want to get paid):

The 2006 Blog It! Toledo Readers Contest is underway, looking for the top Toledo and national blogs. It is imperative that we get out the vote for Toledo Tales.

Some of you may be asking yourself: "Why should I vote? It really doesn't matter, and I could be downloading porn right now." Well friends - nothing could be further from the truth.

Toledo Tales has stood strong for freedom, democracy, and cheap booze, while terrorist sympathizers like Matt Sussman at the Futon Report and Michael Brooks at Historymike have been rolling out the red carpet for Osama bin Laden.

This website is your one dependable source for Toledo truthiness, and we would never cut-and-run, unless there was some really hot trust-fund babe at the end of the bar. Then you'd be out of luck.

So email Lisa Renee at glasscityjungle@gmail.com and help make America safe for hamsters.

GO BOB!!!!
Remember, since it's a satire site, he means the opposite. Toledo Tales hates democracy, whereas the Futon Report saves kittens from trees.

Historymike, meanwhile, has always supported the act of throwing spoiled cottage cheese at disabled war veterans.
And I stand for nothing, so vote for whomever you damned well please, maybe even Bob...
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Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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