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12/12/2006

A Vote For Bob is a Vote Against the Terrorists

An open letter from Subcomandante Bob

Dear Friends (and creditors who want to get paid):

The 2006 Blog It! Toledo Readers Contest is underway, looking for the top Toledo and national blogs. It is imperative that we get out the vote for Toledo Tales.

Some of you may be asking yourself: "Why should I vote? It really doesn't matter, and I could be downloading porn right now." Well friends - nothing could be further from the truth.

Toledo Tales has stood strong for freedom, democracy, and cheap booze, while terrorist sympathizers like Matt Sussman at the Futon Report and Michael Brooks at Historymike have been rolling out the red carpet for Osama bin Laden.

This website is your one dependable source for Toledo truthiness, and we would never cut-and-run, unless there was some really hot trust-fund babe at the end of the bar. Then you'd be out of luck.

So email Lisa Renee at glasscityjungle@gmail.com and help make America safe for hamsters.

Comments:
GO BOB!!!!
 
Remember, since it's a satire site, he means the opposite. Toledo Tales hates democracy, whereas the Futon Report saves kittens from trees.

Historymike, meanwhile, has always supported the act of throwing spoiled cottage cheese at disabled war veterans.
 
And I stand for nothing, so vote for whomever you damned well please, maybe even Bob...
 
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