.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Charismatic Church Adopts Punk Motif

Left: Pastor Eric "Snot" Bacon

(Sylvania, OH) Tapping into what it sees as "disaffected young Christians," Sylvania church Death Realm Christ Hole brings uncompromising political philosophy and an abrasive punk aesthetic to its audience.

"Punk music came and was a slap in the face for everybody to say, 'Hey! Let's just write a bunch of really great songs, go out there and kick them as hard as we can!"" said pastor Snot Bacon. "We are here to say that it's OK to say 'Fuck Off' in a church setting."

The traditional altar and pulpit are replaced at Death Realm Christ Hole with a stage and mosh pit. Bacon said that even older worshippers jump in the pit.

"There was an old lady here last week that totally decked this 16-year old Goth chick," he laughed. "Way cool; that's what her faith was all about, you know?"

Left: Moshing for Jesus

Featuring songs like "It's Getting Easier For Me To Die," "The Destruction Of Everything You Love," and "Mary's Rotten Afterbirth," the church hopes to use contemporary punk music in a faux club atmosphere to bring punks closer to God.

"Listen - there are like many ways to God, mon," said Bacon. "Who is to say that your lily-whitebread conformist sellout church has the monopoly on God? Besides, I'd rather be listening to Bad Brains than "On Eagles' Wings," you know?"

Look for me right up front!

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?