.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Editorial: Where is MY Bag of Cash From a Brinks Truck?

A guest editorial by Mr. Todd Perryman

In the news today I saw another lucky son-of-a-bitch who came across a sack of money in the middle of the street while driving his pickup truck.

By my count that is at least the 807th time this has happened in the past year.

What I want to know is this: Where the hell is MY bag of cash that fell off a Brink's truck?

Some people wait for their "ships to come in," and others play the lottery.

Me? I'm waiting for that bag of cash that fell off of a Brink's truck.

It's pretty simple - the 807 times this has happened are only the ones that the Brinks Company has told the public. The way I got it figured, there is a mechanical defect in the rear doors of Brinks trucks that causes them to pop open at the slightest bump in the road.

Do you think they would actually report all of the times this has happened? I don't think so, Paco.

So day after day I keep my eyes open for Brinks bags on the side of the road, and some days I even follow Brinks trucks. I just know I am going to find my very own Brinks bag soon. Very soon.

The odds are in my favor, you know. I've been watching Brinks Truck #1034TA for a couple of weeks now, and those fuckers have never lost a bag. Given the company's terrible track record of money sacks falling off the back of trucks, they are way overdue, my friend.

And when it happens - I'll pick up that cash and waltz right straight to Easyville.

Labels: , ,

And, may "The Farce" be wit youse.

Easyville.., rigghhhttt.

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Toledo Tales ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Toledo Tales ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Toledo Tales ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Toledo Tales ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?