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2/25/2007

Idiot Driver Wants You to Know She is, Indeed, Special

Left: Schmidt reviewing her cherished status credentials

(Toledo, OH) Notoriously discourteous driver Katy Schmidt confirmed to Toledo Tales reporters what many area motorists have long suspected.

"It really is true - I am special," she giggled. "That gives me the right to turn without using my signals, and to apply makeup in the left turn lane, causing me to be the only one to make the light."

Schmidt said that there are other benefits to attaining "special" status on the road.

"Being special means I never have to let another driver in, because I am way more important than anyone else," she said. "So even if traffic is at a standstill, and you want to pull into traffic from the Kroger parking lot, I have the right to inch up 12 feet to block you in."

Car taking up two parking placesLeft: Priority parking is among the many benefits attached to the designation of "special"

Schmidt said that other drivers need to "back off with the hating."

"I am so tired of jealous little people honking horns or giving me the middle finger," she sighed. "The sooner they learn that some of us are just - well - better than everyone else, the quicker we can all get along."

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